Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
