I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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