Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
