I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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