Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
