real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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