I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
