This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
