his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
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I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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