Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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