I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
