ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
