How'd it feel making her break her religion?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
