why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
