so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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