i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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