I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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