now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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