im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Farmville is her only friend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
