you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
