we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
