Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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