my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
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he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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