Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am one with the molecules
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
