You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
