sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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