He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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