I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
