Im at strip club and am horny
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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