i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
