he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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