Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
