I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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