I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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