No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
