There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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