Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i think we sleep fucked last night...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
