It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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