i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
