yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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