I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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