it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
