So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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