I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
