I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
