Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
