Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
