drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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