another moral hangover. fuck.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
