Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
