No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
