I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
