yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
