Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize