Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize