You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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