u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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