You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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